It was in the 80’s when I met Auntie Gemma Beckley. She and my Mom Dr. Ruby Hobbs were coworkers. They use to travel together and became great friends.

Aunt Gemma invited my Mom, myself and my sister to her house for dinner one Sunday. She welcomed us into her home, and introduced us to her daughter’s Jackie and Lisa.

Jackie and I were the same age, and we instantly hit it off and became the best of friends. Over time we claimed to be cousins till this day.

I remember the first sleepover I had at Aunt Gemmas house, and at bedtime she came into Jackie’s room to tell her goodnight. She hugged and kissed her and said, “I love you”. Then she came over to me and kissed me on my forehead and said, “I love you”.

This may not be much to some, but it was everything to me. I didn’t get told I love you or kissed on the forehead by my Mom. My Mother was not an affectionate or expressive Mother, nevertheless she loved us dearly. But to experience the kind of love displayed by Aunt Gemma changed me.

I remember going back home to Oxford and during the ride home, I asked my Mama, “Why don’t you tell me that you love me, and hug and kiss us?” My Mom instantly replied back saying, “I show you I love you by putting a roof over your head, food in your mouth, and clothes on your back”.

As a 13 year old child, it really hurt my feelings. Nevertheless, it did not make my Mom a bad parent, because she has been one of the best Mother’s any child could ask for. It was what she knew and learned based on her upbringing. I remember thinking in my head that when I grow up and have children that I’m going to always, tell them that I love them, and kiss them goodnight.

Aunt Gemma taught me at an early age that outside of being a provider, that it is completely normal to hug, kiss, and say I love you as much as you want to your children.

I’ve told this simple story to my children how the act of showing love to her children resonated with me all of these years, and when I had my daughters, I hugged and kissed on them everyday and night when they lived at home. Till this day my daughter’s and I, whoever says I love you, the other says, “I love you more”.

Thank you Auntie Gemma for showing me at an early age that showing love comes in many ways. But saying it means everything.

To my cousins Jackie and Lisa and Uncle David Beckley. I pray that you have peace that you had the best Mother, Wife, and Grandmother on this side of Heaven.

I love you Aunt Gemma Beckley, and I pray that you are resting in eternal peace and know that you were truly loved by those near and far.

Your niece,
Staci